• Kelsea Cannon

"It's fine. It's fine. It's fine." (and then it's not)

Does this ever happen to you? You tell people (and yourself) "it's fine." And you say 'it's fine" for a while, but then suddenly it's not? What happens when it (whatever "it" is) wasn't fine to begin with?

The problem with "I'm fine"

When a gal pal says "oh, you know, I'm fine", do you believe her? (Um, not usually.) Let's be real. When you say you're fine in a monotone, slumpy kind-of-way, you're most likely not actually doing the things you want to be doing and living the life you want to be living. Not that every day is going to be roses and rainbows, but shouldn't 70-80% of our life be pretty darn good? What's getting in the way if it isn't?

What's this got to do with Mom's health?

SO MUCH gets placed on a woman's plate. Especially a mom's plate. In fact, your plates are likely full the minute you wake up. Saying "it's fine" tends to just stir the inner pot. When we say we're fine but we're not actually feeling fine...and the cycle repeats...typically it leads to mounting frustration, feelings of resentment, and day-to-day overwhelm. **Then an explosion happens** Saying you're fine when you're not actually fine is like living in a pressure cooker. And, ya'll, Mom's overall health and the health of the family relies on Mom being supported when she's not actually fine. You've heard the saying... “If momma ain't happy​, ain't nobody happy.”

Action plan

FIRST! If you catch yourself saying "I'm fine" and you're really not, then stop. Take a breath. And notice what you're actually feeling. As in, label the emotion in that moment. There's legit research surrounding labeling what you're actually feeling, emotion-wise. It helps you communicate to others much more effectively (and we all know how communication can be...I'm just going to say it...it can be a total shit show). And so crafting a receptive space to better understand yourself and, therefore, be heard is worth its weight in gold. This allows you to feel confident knowing where *you* stand. In the words of Jen Sincero, You are responsible for what you do and say. You are not responsible for whether people freak out about it. If you find yourself feeling constantly frustrated, overwhelmed, and/or uncertain, then unpacking those emotions begins the process of starting to live your life in the best version of yourself.

SECOND! If you're "feeling fine" but want to feel confident, energized, or, heck, even straight-up happy, but don't know where to begin, we should chat. Email me at kelsea@pliabilityhealthcoaching.com. Or if you're in real S-O-S mode (ie, nowhere close to feeling fine), then jump into a complimentary discovery call:

THIRD! If you want some reinforcement on this business of being fine, here's an entertaining Ted Talk just for you (spoiler: you're too awesome to be only fine): https://www.ted.com/talks/mel_robbins_how_to_stop_screwing_yourself_over?language=en (20 min)

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